goddammitfenton: if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence
sweeneytad: *dentist slaughters family in front of you* they’re bleeding because you don’t floss
3ridan: do you ever look around at the big crowds of people around you and realize everyone has a story and memories and family and troubles and achievements and a first kiss and a broken heart but you’ll never know any of it and every human life is really intricate and expansive but oh they’ve walked into a shop and you’ll never see them again and you’ll never know just what they were...
ludacrisp: WHEN TEACHERS FORGET TO CHECK THE HOMEWORK YOU DIDN’T DO
thorhead: thorhead: I wonder if the young girls playing on the trampoline next door know that I can see them I can hear them singing You Can’t Stop The Beat from Hairspray they are really bad singers and I can probably get a YouTube-worthy video of them from my current position gUYS I PUT ON MY COUSINS HOCKEY MASK AND STOOD AT THE WINDOW AND YELLED “STOP YOUR INFERNAL SINGSONG I’M TRYING...
edsheerun: i just want a boy to like me no not that one
ezramillrs: ok so we had this family gathering thing and i got drunk for the frist time in a year because fuck how else can i survive my family and yeah my dad was like “do you know what, being drunk looks fine on a young man, but not a young woman like you” and i was like “do you know what dad being sexist doesn’t look fine on anyone” and everyone laughed at him and i just sat there like
180mph: genetics is a fucked up and unfair game
edgur: one time i was at the bar pounding back a few cold ones with the guys and some dude called me a faggot i was so pissed i almost sucked his dick right there i was so fucking pissed
h0odrich: It’s not called cheating its called I need to pass this fuckin class
bonehatter: espeonchan: it’s been 2013 for almost half a year what the FUCK
badtvblog: Don’t watch this if you’re soaked in gasoline because it will warm your heart and you will burn to death and die.
crankkky: meladoodle: girl you gonna need a permission slip to ride this dick
88th: is there proof of anyone winning a tumblr giveaway ever
percypan: THIS GUY JUST ASKED ME WHAT MY NAME WAS AND I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE SAID SO I SAID 4:45